As some of you may know, I've been verbally self-flagellating for the past 20 years or so, telling myself I'm not good enough, that doing a half-assed job is fine. As little as I can get away with.
Recently I've started to find it really difficult to justify the way I have lived my life and interact with people.
The thing which has annoyed me most throughout my life (and still does, really) is people telling me that "You have so much potential, Ben!", and thinking that they're helping me by saying that.
Anyone who has said that to me recently has probably disappeared mysteriously, only to turn up several weeks later. Forensics report wounds and disfigurement consistent with *ANGRY FACESTAB*.
But they're right. I've been thinking a lot about it recently, and I can't think of even one thing I've ever truly thrown myself into.
I can't believe that up until now I've failed to grasp this simple formula for metabolism and weight control...
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Sub Metabolism
Dim EnergyIn as Integer
Dim Exercise as Integer
Dim DefaultEnergyUsage as Integer
Dim EnergyOut as Integer
Public Weight as Integer
Public Happiness as Integer
EnergyOut=Exercise+DefaultEnergyUsage
If EnergyIn > EnergyOut Then
EnergyIn=EnergyIn-1
Call GainWeight
Loop Until EnergyIn =<EnergyOut.
ElseIf EnergyIn = EnergyOut Then
Exit Sub
Else Call LoseWeight
EnergyOut = EnergyOut-1
Loop Until EnergyIn =>EnergyOut
End If
End Sub
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Sub GainWeight
Weight=Weight +1
Happiness=Happiness-1
End sub
---------------------
Sub LoseWeight
Weight=Weight-1
Happiness=Happiness+1
End Sub
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It really is that simple...
The average male needs 3500 (approximately) calories to maintain their weight and body composition. Excess calories are stored as fat and weight-gain reflects that. If less than 3500 calories are consumed, the body will begin to thaw out its fat reserves to make up the deficit, so total body fat and by extension weight willdrop.
Exercise tilts the scale towards further fat burn. But exercise isn't enough by itself to compensate for a crappy diet.
Based on the simplicity of this formula, and based on the fact that I have religiously been doing gym sessions 4 times per week (upped to 5 a couple of weeks ago) along with recently, (since the weather in the morning has been nice) walking to work, and based on the fact that despite this I'm still (however slowly) gaining weight, the only possible conclusion is that I consume too many calories.
Telling myself that if I just keep walking, cycling, and resistance training that I'll eventually just shrink into the attractive man I know lurks somewhere within me, is a fairy tale.
And that's just not enough for me anymore.
Time for me to cut the crap (from my diet, and my life) and get real.
