Hello, people that I probably don't know. Welcome to ConductoBlog. Here, I will primarily be tracking my progress on stuff, and post some random stuff from time-to-time as well.
Facebook doesn't seem like the right place for posts like this, so here it is. I've been thinking about my life, the universe, and everything for awhile, worrying about my weight, wondering why I fail, wondering why my life sucks so bad, and basically here are the things I came up with. Any suggestions, criticisms, and flaming poop will be greatly appreciated.
1. Learn to love myself
- Stop lying to myself and others about how well I've been doing, without bitching about it. I have not really been doing well. When I started attending the gym, I was 191kg, and got down as far as 167kg. I'm now back to nearly 180. This must NOT continue, and is not a reason to quit. It simply means that I have to harden up.
- Stop bitching about stuff, especially stuff I don't know SFA about. I do it waaay too much and probably come off sounding very whiny at best, and arrogant and ignorant at worst.
- Stop using food as an unprescribed medication. Stop allowing circumstances such as "but everyone else is ordering pizza!" as an excuse for this. Stop spending money on terrible food like Maccas or pizza entirely. Just because my trainers have told me I can sustain having one bad meal per week does not mean I have to have at least one bad meal per week. A bad meal does not need to contain pizza or chips to be bad. Making meals too large is just as bad if not worse, even if all said meals consist of is lean meat, vegetables, and rice. An entire pouch of microwave rice is too much. I must not eat simply because I have nothing better to do.
- Start attending the gym more often, and being more honest with my trainer and the people around me. This will help me gain more confidence, look better, and feel better. I aim to drop at least 10-20 kilos by next year, while sustaining a healthy pattern of eating to exercise ratios.
- Come up with a list of stuff that is good about me, possibly with the help of some other people I trust to tell the truth. Learn to accept compliments without brushing them off as "people lying to me because it is what they think I want to hear". I do have some good traits, and people should occasionally praise me for them. To say anything else is an insult to them, and an insult to me. Embrace my good points.
- Come up with a list of stuff that is bad about me, ideally with the help of some other people I trust to tell the truth. Work on the bad points.
- Think about a job that I can see myself doing and being happy in, then if necessary, start to acquire qualifications extramurally for said job. Stop worrying about the future and start ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING to make sure that when the future eventually comes that I can hit it with a smile on my face.
Anyway, that is the plan that I intend to follow, I'll be building a day-to-day plan soon, that's just a vague outline of objectives.
Hi ConductorCat!
ReplyDeleteI too am trying to be more honest, and positive in my life. Worry feeds on worry and a negative outlook doesn't encourage friendships to be formed.
I think all of us have our moments with eating "well"... I know I still get a little upset at people eating "junk food all the time", even a day of "bad" eating for me and my weight increases. I'm a girl. I worry about my self. Positive thinking helps make me a more confident person. Underneath it all I'm as self conscious as the next girl, or guy... But I try to remain honest about it with those who I am closest to. That said, a lot of people don't know how self-conscious I really am!!
Good Luck. Think positive thoughts. Weight loss isn't about loss, loss, loss but about embracing life along with the up's and down's.
As for the gym, aim for a few times, increasing as you gain more confidence. Just remember no-one really goes to the gym to check anyone else out... All that sweat... EW!
lol.
Lisa.
Thanks Lisa, I really appreciate your comments. Yeah, I have several friends who can get away with eating junk food non-stop and never gain a gram. It makes me homicidally angry sometimes, since I put on half a kilo from so much as looking at a block of chocolate. I think secretly most people are self-conscious, but some hide it a lot better than others.
ReplyDeleteAs for the gym, currently I do a half-hour workout 4 times a week, one of those times with a personal trainer. I'd like to be able to get there 5 times, or even 6 if I can find the time on a Saturday...
Ben :) You are awesome.
ReplyDeleteSorry I didn't get around to writing you a message yesterday, it got very late by the time I went to sleep and I sacrificed sleep in order to have a rant on my own blog. Now I am very, very tired. Dumb decision!
Can I suggest that out of the things you've listed here, try to focus on just one at a time. I've found in the past that when I've written myself out a big list I tell myself I HAVE to work on them all NOW and it really turns to custard. Breaking/forming habits is a mission and a half, and to do like ten of them at once gets a bit too much. I'd also like to suggest that you have a primary focus on learning to love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you'll end up always dissatisfied no matter what you achieve in life, whether it be weight loss, or writing a book, or getting a certain job, etc. Years ago I got myself down to 48kg and do you know what? I still hated how I looked. I still wanted to lose more. Even thought lots of people were telling me, "wow, you've lost heaps of weight" I still saw myself the same - because my perception of myself didn't change with my body.
Anyway, I'll stop there, as I need to get ready for work... good luck Ben, and always remember you are one awesome dude :) I'm totally on your team bro.